went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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