He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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