Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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