We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
