Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
