I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
