last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
