I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
