whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
