It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
