She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
