He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
