votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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