How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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