He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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