then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
