I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
