she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
