Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
