my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
