operation harelip BJ is a go
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
