great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
