its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
