Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Randomize
