just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
