After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
