get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
