Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You need Xanax blowdarts
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
