yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
