the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
