Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
