it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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