he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
