he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
