I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
