So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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