I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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