My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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