I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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