it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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