We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
