Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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