you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
