Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
