the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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