Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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