He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
