here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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