TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
