Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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