with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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