I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
