i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
